Dear Lovelies,

Seems, in no time, we have moved from candle lit, cozy evenings by the fireplace to spring fever and barbecueing on the back porch. Spring is in the air. Fresh, fragrant spring. Full of possibility and restlessness. It’s time to clean house. Out with the old, that no longer serves us. Making room for the new that will ignite our passion and kindle our spirit. How do you spring clean? Do you know what ‘new’ you are making room for

Sometimes I get overly eager in my cleansing, weeding out closets, piled up paper work, even lovers. I want newness.I want to be new, all over. But even the most serious scrub down won’t re-new me. No change of scene, job or lover will make me a new me. That much I’ve learnt. But one thing I can do is to approach daily life with new eyes and perception.

Recently, I attended this wild, wondrous Goddess Training in the woods on Mt. Tamalpais. I went to learn about the

many faces of the Goddess and experience myself in a larger, more mythical context. With Arial Spilsbury’s facilitation, we were invited to embody, literally and figuratively, the qualities of the thirteen archetypes of the Goddess (as opposed to trying to understand them intellectually). Using ritual, sound, color, fragrancy, movement and artistic expression we explored the qualities and shadow sides and to the extent possible “became” these archetypes. It is very hard to describe the experience without sounding far out, but imagine one day being the Great Mother of abundance and the next day, Kali Ma, the fierce creator/destroyer who stomps on your attachments and fears? Imagine getting down with pure Shakti energy and then, experiencing the Queen of Death?

Amidst this, I was half-expecting some big issue to show its ugly face. Surely, I must be in denial about something, I thought. But nothing happened. Could I possibly be okay? With nothing to clear? Happy even? This was new. Instead of the usual struggle to heal and transform, I had a profound experience: everything I shared with the rest of group about myself, seemed old, without meaning or magic. My story was boring. I was bored. With me. So I created a beautiful pop-up storybook about how I came to be me and then, burnt it in the fire. I was no longer my story. It made me feel tremendously liberated.

I learned it is even more liberating to NOT get pulled into other people’s dramas, to NOT waste time creating stories about our experiences, but to meet and experience life, heart first, empty and present, each moment, without getting hung up on a story about what’s going on.

Easier said than done. Stories give us a sense of meaning or control. We like life categorized, measured up and wrapped in neat little boxes. Now, when I hear myself telling stories, particularly old ones, I stop myself. If I find myself speculating and having inner dialogues to ‘figure out’ situations and people, I stop myself. I am actively training myself to face situations with love, curiosity and no judgment. Limitless living, rich in possibility and play. I can actually do something new in situations that feels old, because I’m no longer attached to a certain story about me or them. Is this not the ultimate freedom?

If this inspires you, I invite you to look closely at the stories you keep telling about yourself, your body, your relationship, your work, your life - and to see who you might be without them.